Like, Final Fantasy IX
by ThingBling
Summary: Turned into a character in a game being played by one's younger brother? What's a preppy to do?! PG13 For Final Fantasy IX's themes. Please R/R!
1. Abercrombie and Fitch

Disclaimer: Square owns Final Fantasy IX. I'm sure all of you know that. Abercrombie and Fitch belongs to Abercrombie and Fitch. I hope you knew that! Hand-Me-That (TM) is just something I made up. Now you know. The Kansas line comes from the Wizard of Oz. Did I need to tell you that? I own Vanessa. After reading about her, well.. I think you'll be glad.  
  
A/N: A cliche idea with a not-so-cliche character, plot, or outcome. Just so you know, Vanessa is NOT like me.. at all. We're not complete opposites, yet she isn't a carbon copy. I know I'M interested in how it'll turn out! Sound interesting? If so...  
  
Dare to read?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter I: Abercrombie and Fitch  
  
  
  
Vanessa Morrison was a normal sixteen-year-old girl.. at least, she'd like to think so. She wore the Abercrombie and Fitch shirts, the Abercromie and Fitch pants, and YES! She even went through the trouble to order a pair of nice, pink Abercrombie and Fitch socks!  
  
Okay, so Vanessa wasn't normal. No preppy is. While she wasn't a total snob, like some of her popular friends, she was, to be blunt, a bit of an airhead. That isn't such a bad thing, but it's not so good, either. Poor Vanessa: it didn't end there!  
  
She loved doing her nails - which isn't wrong! No, no, no.. doing your nails is usually a character of good hygiene! ... Unless you're Vanessa. Then it's your life. She loved the glitter and the bright, cheerful colors of a good nail job. In fact, she valued her quality nail-time so much that every morning that began with a sunrise, she would set up her little Hand-Me-That (TM) makeup set, and wage war against the day-old choice of colors that rested on her fingers. This was also a way for her to color-coordinate.  
  
Was Vanessa a bit obsessed? A bit obsessed, was Vanessa.  
  
But it didn't matter! We all love Vanessa, right? Right down to her pink Abercrombie and Fitch socks? ... well, don't answer, then! Because Vanessa wouldn't hear it! If she did, she'd plunk you right in the middle of the "peasant crowd", as she donned it, which avoided her just as much as she avoided it. In order to escape the "peasant crowd", as soon as she reached the school doors, which always happened to be right before the opening school bell rang, she'd snuggle into her own crowd: the "royalty". And she'd stay with them until first hour's bell drew near.  
  
Do you like Vanessa thus far? Good, because this story revolves around her! What, did I just her a pained moan? Not to worry; I think Vanessa will feel the same way when she finds out that-  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oops!" Popularity obviously didn't count when it came to chemistry grades. "Teacheeeer!"  
  
Heads turned to the cry of distress. Was it for real this time? Oh, it was only Vanessa. Figures: every other day it was Vanessa! Be it mixing pure sodium and water, but spilling the calming results on yourself (today's episode), or lighting a match, observing, and making a conclusion why the gas burner shouldn't have been turned on so close to it (Mr. Slightly: VANESSA!!!) .. yes, all of these incidences went on Vanessa's credit, and all of them teetered on the brink of failure in science. But Vanessa kept on plowing.  
  
"Uh, uh! This stuff stinks!" Fizzing water all over her new Abercrombie and Fitch pink t-shirt, Vanessa didn't exactly have the wits about her to head over to the washing station. "Does anyone have some Abercrombie and Fitch perfume??"  
  
"MISS MORRISON!!" Oh, poor Vanessa.  
  
The rest of Vanessa Morrison's science class period was spent cleaning up her little mess: herself and her station. When the bell rang, telling everyone that their seventh and final hour in the school building had ended, the entire class coursed around the soggy teenager and her current project: trying to dry the floor around the "danger area".   
  
"Caution! Wet floor!" Vanessa growled at someone's attempt to be witty. How she hated being a ditz! Although, of course, she would never admit it...  
  
  
  
  
  
"Vanessa, dear, how was school?" An overpowering fragrance washed over our heroine as she opened her front door. She heard the school bus she had just exited putt on past her (guess the color!) pink house as she closed the entrance. She turned towards her curly-haired mother and said, softly-  
  
"AWFUL! Mother, I can't believe you make me go to school! Why can't I just drop out?! Why, why, why..?!!" A white Abercrombie and Fitch schoolbag hit the plush living room carpet. Vanessa delicately kicked her new Vans shoes off, which both landed right next to each other in a perfect pair. She flung herself forward, onto a clean, soft couch, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"Honey, darling, angel-pie," Vanessa's mother sat down next to her distraught daughter and managed to put a hand on her perfect, violently shaking shoulders. "Don't say such an awful thing! Why, you have a C-average! You're passing beautifully.."  
  
Vanessa sniffed, wondering whether to bury her head in her mother's blue blouse, or to clout the side of the face of the woman whom she had told NOT to touch her that very morning. "It would be a perfect B-average if I didn't have chemistry.. or Phy. Ed.!" Sadly, Vanessa was in the "track" unit in Physical Education. As far as she was concerned, NO ONE should have to participate in the hurdles, EVER!  
  
"Now, now," her mother reached up to brush back a light brown strand of hair from her sweetie's face. "What can cheer you up, hmm? What if I told you it's a Friday?"  
  
"I don't care!" Vanessa screamed, jumping off the couch and onto her cat - "MEEOOW!", it ran away without a second thought; then our teenage disaster sank down, hopelessly. "Nothing can make me feel any better!"  
  
"What if I got you a new set of clothes?"  
  
"No."  
  
"A new hair-styling kit??"  
  
"No!"  
  
"A month's worth of allowance???"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Her mother recoiled, reaching back into the very pits of her soul for an answer. But an answer didn't come; rather, a distraction..  
  
"Vanessa, sugar-dumpling.. what if I rent out a PlayStation for you?"  
  
"...Okay!" It was as if the cogs of fate had suddenly reversed! Why would her mother suddenly let her rent out a PlayStation for her? Before, her mother had vowed to Vanessa's face that she would never let her touch that blood-stained, dirty, mutilating entertainment center! It slaughtered all innocence! It twisted people's minds!!  
  
...It gave us this story...  
  
  
  
  
  
"So, pick a game." Vanessa's face was pressed up against the glass. Which game to rent out? The attendant behind her, fidgetty and nervous, held onto the PlayStation that her mother had requested. "Have you at least got an idea?"  
  
"Umm.." Her bottom lip sticking out notieably, Vanessa pondered the possibilities.  
  
"Could you hurry it up? It's been, like, fifteen minutes since you arrived here, and my helper is on dinner break.."  
  
Slowly, Vanessa turned over the few striking titles in her mind. There was that Barbie one, but she thought it might be for the younger generation. Threads of Fate also looked adorable, and Britney Spears was almost a must-see (for Vanessa) ! Finally, after much deliberation, and much to the attendant's pleasure, Vanessa opened her mouth. "I think I'll take that one!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Vanessa pointed to a game cover with a very odd-looking group of people on it. A man with armor on was pushed into the background by a cute little shadow-boy and charming adolescent with a tail. Well, there was a creepy looking character on the far right with clown-like hair that she had to get over, but what outweighed all the bad was the pretty, sincere girl on the left. As fair as a rose, and graceful as a ballerina, this dark-haired beauty impressioned herself on Vanessa's heart forever..  
  
Little did Vanessa know, it may not have been for the better.  
  
As the attendant unlocked the glass door and removed a copy of the game labeled 'Final Fantasy IX', Vanessa gave herself a pat on the back for being such a clever picker-outter.  
  
  
  
  
  
These instructions are so vague! Vanessa's hands trembled as she tried to insert the red, yellow and white plugs into their corresponding sockets in the back of her monster-sized TV. She had hooked up the PlayStation's cord into the wall, which was, of course, no task at all, but somehow she couldn't figure out what exactly to do with the other set of cords.  
  
"Stupid PlayStation! Reminds me of science.. station," Vanessa talked to herself as she mashed the yellow tip of the first cord into a video slot. "Maybe I'm onto something, though! Ha.." The white tip was pushed into the speaker system hole, and the red was soon completely inserted into the audio one.  
  
Taking a step back and looking at her work of art, her highness felt a sense of satisfaction. She then manuevered herself out from behind her own room's television, and collapsed proudly onto her bed. Oh, how proudly she collapsed!  
  
The next step was to turn the game console on. Well, Vanessa was feeling a tad lazy, and she had foreseen this, so the PS1 was placed right next to her bed (she had extension cords to link it to the wall that seemed so far away). As she dangled her arms over the side of her bunny-decorated bed, a tingling sensation tickled her skin. Was it excitement? Whatever it was, Vanessa paid no mind.  
  
Picking the remote off her $2000 bedside table, she tapped the 'On' button. Immediately, one entire side of her room (for that's practically as big as her TV was) seemed to glow in response.  
  
"I think I'm in for a treat!" Fondling the weird controller, Vanessa Morrison watched as the title popped up on the screen. Playstation, blah blah blah, Squaresoft, blah blah blah.. Ah! Here it was! Her eyes opened wide, as to fit in all the details on the TV, and Vanessa gasped.  
  
Such beautiful graphics! Could this be for real? She couldn't even feel the controller in her hands, she was so excited!! Ooh, Jeremy, her little brother, would be envious when he got home the next day from a field trip! Vanessa knew she would be.. what contraband could mean to a narcissist sibling that was probably the most popular kid in his grade! Of course, seventh grade was probably not the hardest grade to be popular in, but...  
  
While Vanessa contemplating her answer to Jeremy's future, "How did you get Mom to rent you out THIS?!?!", she barely noticed the opening credits that had started to roll in after the awful boat scene. And in these credits was a cast list, and in the cast list was...  
  
"In order of appearance: Vanessa Morrison" ...  
  
She wasn't in Kansas anymore, shall we say.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW NOW THAT YOU'VE READ! Because-  
ALL REVIEWERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED!!!  
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! I know I like writing it, so if you like reading it, PLEASE-please-please spend a minute for my, what, two hours spent working on it (I'm not the fastest typist)! That is all, and thanks for considering..  
  
  
-ThingBling tried a new thing 


	2. Potato Sack

Disclaimer: Square owns Final Fantasy IX! Adidas owns Adidas! Abercrombie and Fitchs owns itself (I hate typing Aber- oh, well, you know) ! I own Vanessa and Jeremy and all other original characters!  
  
A/N: Vanessa's new world emerges, Vanessa's new problem emerges, Vanessa's new fashion disaster emerges. What more can you ask for? Except the story...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter II: Potato Sack  
  
  
Let's just say Vanessa thought this was the coolest video game ever. The birds in the sky looked so real! The people were running madly to and fro, shouting about getting ready for the 'big event'. A little furry creature with bat-like wings toddled by, muttering some gruff words under its breath. What a wonderful-!  
  
"Wait; sky?!" You see, Vanessa wasn't the quickest turtle in the pond. "Uh..."  
  
And this is how it hit Vanessa: on the top of her perfect head. She let out a shriek of dismay as an acorn fell off of her head. She looked around in a confused rage. What she saw was less than pretty.  
  
"Hey, lady! Toss that back up here!" A boy - wait, no! Not a boy - a freak of nature, with huge unblinking eyes and the twitchy kind of nose that only a squirrel could have, waved to her. From a rooftop.  
  
She was frozen in place. She wasn't scared. She wasn't even fazed. She was beginning to understand...  
  
"Oh! A virtual reality game!" Uh... perhaps not.  
  
"A what's-a-huh? Does this look like virtual reality to you?" Losing all patience, the rodent hurled a few more of these nuts at the clueless beauty. "Get out of here, blondie!"  
  
With a scream, Vanessa stumbled her way out of the alley she had been lingering in. "I'm not blonde! I have beautiful brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes, okay?! Get it straight!" Huffing and puffing, and hoping it was back all the way home, Vanessa slowed and eventually came to a stop in front of the largest woman she had seen in her life. Vanessa's "gorgeous" eyes bugged out.  
  
"Excuse me, child, I'm in a hurry.."  
  
"No! Wait!" Regaining her sense (or at least all of it she had ever had), Vanessa tugged at the ribbons fastened around the woman's generous girth, hoping to snag some attention. It was too late. The lady hadn't even noticed, and hustled over to the small stall in the center of the Village Square.  
  
"Mr. Ticket man! I demand to know what the holdup is!" Vanessa watched, intrigued, from behind an overflowing flower basket. The rather well-padded aristocrat pulled back the veil that surrounded the stand. "When is the play scheduled?! I thought it was six o' clock sharp!"  
  
"It, um, is," the odd looking man behind the curtains, as far as Vanessa could tell, was anything but human. His tongue lolled around as he held up a yellow piece of paper. "Ma'am, it's only ten after five. You should probably head up to the performance, so YOU'RE on time in time to get a good seat..."  
  
Play? Performance?? Vanessa hurried over to the lady and the strange man. "What's this play-thing about?"  
  
  
  
  
  
The slam of a door could be heard from he kitchen, where Mrs. Morrison was busily cooking dinner. Two very fancy Vans shoes were kicked out of the way, replaced by smudgy Adidas sneakers. A drop of a sloppy book bag, a wipe of the nose, and a sigh of relief. "Hey, mom! We got back early!"  
  
"What...? Jeremy! You''ve returned so soon!" Vanessa's mother, or more at the moment, JEREMY's mother appeared suddenly out of the kitchen doorway and flew over to greet her son. "What happened, honey?"  
  
"Ah, nothing. Just an escaped convict around the hotel's area." Nothing more had to be said. His mother shrieked and threw her arms around her adorable child. At least, adorable in her eyes. "Mom! Yer squeezing me to death! I'm okay!"  
  
"Just think if something happened to you! Are you alright?! BABY!!!"  
  
"MOM, I SAID I'M OKAY!! Get offa me!!" Released from the panicking woman, Jeremy shook the disturbed curls out of his eyes. "Geez, mom..."  
  
Sniffing, his mother started wringing her hands, and looked him up and down. "So the field trip tomorrow...?"  
  
"Canceled," Jeremy started walking towards the stairs leading to the family's bedroom floor. "I guess her highness won't be too thrilled..." A creak sounded as his left foot pressured the first wooden step.  
  
"You're going up to your room now?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. What else?"  
  
"Oh.. well, dinner's almost ready. Would you mind peaking into Vanessa's room and telling her? Oh! And make sure to tell her to share," Mrs. Morrison smiled secretively at her son, and slowly brushed past him, traveling back into the kitchen.  
  
"Share? Mom, what's going on?" A gentle melody seemed to reveal itself now, floating down from the upper hallway. A curiosity welled behind Jeremy's throat as he took the stairs two at a time, following the music to its very source.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes, it's a celebration. Now do you understand?" Vanessa wondered how to respond. All this for someone's sixteenth birthday?! And all SHE had gotten were some measly clothes and a car!  
  
"The princess's pretty spoiled, huh," Vanessa looked at the old clock behind the man. The overweight lady had left a few minutes before, satisfied with the night's plans. "Five-twenty. Sir, is this play supposed to be really good?"  
  
"One of the best!" The canine creature puffed himself up.  
  
"Then I want a ticket!!"  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
"A ticket. Preferably pink," Vanessa stared at the man slowly shrink in posture. "...What's the matter? Can't you give me one?"  
  
"I'm afraid I can't," he scratched behind his head. "Even if I had any left, I don't think a girl like you could afford it."  
  
"Yeah, right. Do you know who I am?!"  
  
"No, who are you?"  
  
"Vanessa Katrina Morrison!" She smiled, showing off her glittering, straight teeth.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And as for the money, just look at my clothes! These happen to be one-hundred-and-ten-dollar Abercrombie and Fitch..." Vanessa trailed off, bending over to stroke her beautifully overpriced pants. But something was wrong. "M-my capri's aren't- they aren't THERE!"  
  
"What are you talking about? That's a very nice potato-sack dress!"  
  
It was true! Vanessa was now clad in a rather shabby brown dress, pink and green flowers littering the edges. A white apron covered many holes, and the boots she had on... well! They were certainly not Abercrombie and Fitch!  
  
To say that Vanessa screamed would be an understatement. Vanessa turned into an absolute siren.  
  
"I don't! I can't! Mom, mom, mom, mom-" she howled. She stamped. She caught sight of a gigantic flying ship as it propelled itself over her head and towards the castle's crystal tower.  
  
"Right.. well, you can always view from the rooftops, like all the other peasants do!" The man nervously gestured for the guards at the gate, but Vanessa quickly calmed down and hung her head.  
  
What a stupid thing to do! "It's only a game! I remember now..." She walked off, back to the Alley that she had arrived at when she had first realized her transition of worlds.  
  
The man sighed in relief.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Vanessa! Dinner!" Jeremy violently kicked open his sister's bedroom's door, hoping to get a startled complaint. As the door stopped vibrating, he walked into the empty, glowing room. "What the heck?"  
  
There the television was. There Vanessa's bed was. There Vanessa's $2000 dresser was. So, where was Vanessa?  
  
"Hey," Jeremy suddenly didn't care 'what the heck'. Now he cared 'how the heck'. "HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET MOM TO RENT YOU OUT THIS??!" The holler seemed to echo despite Vanessa's all-sound-absorbent pink carpet. "AND WHERE ARE YOU?!!" Like he really cared!  
  
Jeremy pounced on the Playstation, inspecting the cords and the smoothed gray top. He picked up the case of the game that was paused. He looked at all the funny characters on it. Man, that red-haired guy looked awesome!  
  
"Sweet," he picked up the abandoned controller and flounced onto his sister's bed. As soon as he was thoroughly comfortable, he pushed into the dark gray, triangular button. "Where are we?"  
  
He fiddled with the arrow buttons. What a weird-feeling controller! Hey.. a joystick. Wow! That thing on the screen moves!! But what is it?  
  
Jeremy experimented for a while before figuring out how it worked. A townsperson told the digital creature in the blue coat and floppy hat to head over to the ticket booth. Where? Ah: there! A question mark in a white bubble appeared above the character's head.  
  
"I'm sure Vanessa won't mind!"  
  
  
  
  
  
"What to do now? What's the point of this?" Vanessa leaned against a wall, careful so as not to dirty herself. "A play from the rooftops.. and with peasants! I thought at least I could meet the queen.."  
  
"Hey, kid." A hippo carpenter wiped his forhead and frowned down on her from the top of his ladder. The sign he was attending to hung forlornly from one corner. "Are ya just gonna sit there all day? Why don't you go find your little friends so I can concentrate, huh?"  
  
"Friends?"  
  
"Yeeeaaahh.. people little girls like you paint your nails with and stuff! I got a job to do; scram!"  
  
"Rowr," Vanessa itched her collar and started to walk away. Swinging her hips was the only thing that made her feel comfortable in a world so unfamilliar! "But what kind of friends would I find in this dump?" Trying to keep her head high and look as if she knew what she was doing (may I add that she was an expert at this), Vanessa overlooked one thing...  
  
And stepped on its tail.  
  
The cat that had been cleaning itself clawed out in alarm, frightening the little boy that had just trotted into the alley. Only being able to concentrate on one thing at a time at his age, he slipped and fell on his face. The cat bolted and Vanessa gasped. "Are you alright?!"  
  
"Little klutz! Look what you made me do!" The carpenter had descended his ladder to shake a fat finger at the shy youth. "Look where you're going... geez."  
  
Vanessa tried to help up the boy by the cleanest part of his coat. After she aided him, she looked back up to see the carpenter finishing up his job. "You could be nicer, you know!"  
  
"Psshh. What would a blondie know?" The infuriating hippo had come back down again. His job was done, evidently, for he strutted down the alley, negatively muttering about the new generation.  
  
"Whatever! Like I'm ever gonna care about world hunger now!" Vanessa daintily stamped her foot. "And I'm not blonde!"  
  
"U-um..." Vanessa turned around. The boy was brushing himself off. He looked into her eyes.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU?!" Now she had had enough! Squirrels: okay. Obese women: unavoidable. Dog-like men and hippo-carpenters: gotta love 'em ... BUT A YELLOW-EYED DEMON?! "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
The boy backed away, scared and a little hurt. He started to walk away.  
  
"No, wait!" Vanessa's heart was pounding. It was the same guy on the game's cover! Now she remembered... probably the star. If she didn't get on good terms with him- "Uh, uh, really sorry! You just-- just look like someone I used to know!"  
  
"...really?" Good; she had caught the creature's attention! Now to butter him up!!  
  
"So, hmm, what's your name?"  
  
"..."  
  
  
  
  
  
"What a dumb girl! Dissing my question-mark man!"  
  
"JEREMY!"  
  
"Uh.. WHAT, MOM?!"  
  
"DINNER!!"  
  
"OKAY!!!" Jeremy put the controller down and hurried out the door. Man, was he hungry!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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A/N: REVIEW PLEASE! It's really only fair since you've read it this far, and...  
ALL REVIEWERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED!!  
  
  
  
Reviewer Thanks:  
  
gamegurl mirai So glad you liked! And yeah, major prep! Abercrombie and Fitch was a tip-off for the slow.. ^^ Hehe. Do you know anyone like Vanessa. Please come again, and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Quistis88 Is there a chapter of anything I've written that you HAVEN'T reviewed?! ^^ Wow, you're a GREAT friend! And sorry bout the wrong age guess.. but you sound so.. smart!! ::shrugs:: Thanks for reviewing (like, times 20)!  
  
chimera86 I love when people dare to read new authors' stuff.. including poetry and whatnot. I hope I live up to your expectations! Keep on coming ::smiles:: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Gazing Dreams Sorry that I kinda MADE you come ::whistles innocently:: hey, I posted some stuff on your forum! Maybe you'll get to see it.. until then! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Mimi-kins I think we all know someone like her ::sighs:: And thanks for reviewing my lyrics, too! I won't get any more up tonight (homework blah.. -.-) but please come back when I do! Your story rocks... Thanks!  
  
Sparks I read your Zidane! A murderer?! Before, but under a different name. Can you guess who (that's right! I'm not completely new!! my email just died O.o) ... did it happen yet?? Thanks again!  
  
Nocturne And the story will continue! Hope this chapter was as good as you were hoping, or as "nice" ^^ Thanks!  
  
CherryBlossomMercenary Love your name. And YES! REVENGE OF THE GAME NERDS!!! LOL that's too funny. Funnier than this story by far, and I claim it to be under the 'humor' category.. well, it'll get funnier when it's all warmed up. Thanks!  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! I know I like writing it, so if you like reading it, PLEASE-please-please spend a minute for my, what, two hours spent working on it (I'm not the fastest typist)! That is all, and thanks for considering.. 


	3. Juuuuump!

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy Nine... in fact is not mine... It's Square's, not the poet's... as if you didn't know it!  
  
A/N Teasers: Vanessa tries to obey the law, gains a few partners in crime, learns a new name, dreams of pies, and "almost dies"... all in one day! ... all in one hour O.o!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter III: Juuuuump!  
  
  
"Where's Vanessa?" Jeremy sat down, ignoring his balding father's question. The table was set with forks, spoons, knives, and (most importantly) enough food for the four Morrison family members. But the fourth person wasn't there. "Young man..."  
  
Jeremy looked up from his plate, which he was already piling the food onto. "Huh?"  
  
His mother looked toward the stairs. "Is she still in her room? Well??"  
  
"Oh, Vanessa. Nah, didn't see her there!"  
  
"Did you check to see if she was in the bathroom, brushing her hair like she sometimes does?" Mr. Morrison was helping himself to the overwhelming lump of potatoes in front of him.  
  
"Hmm," Jeremy paused, dropping a fork into his chicken. "No, but I'm pretty sure we'd hear her trying to sing-"  
  
"Jeremy!"  
  
"What?!" He looked at his mother and father. A shade of red slowly filled up both their faces.  
  
"Don't ever question the Morrison family's ability to sing! By the way, Largo," Mrs. Morrison looked at her husband, watching as he inhaled a spoonful of peas, "I think she mentioned something about going to a friend's house... so..."  
  
"Ah! Yes, I do remember now," Mr. Morrison thoughtfully poured himself another glass of milk. He sipped, and nearly spluttered as he remembered something else. "She was going to spend two weeks with her before she moved! Wasn't she? Wasn't she, dearie??"  
  
Jeremy shuddered as the two agreed and called eachother lovey-dovie and honey-nut and, "Ugh! I mean, may I be excused?"  
  
"What?" His mother looked at him strangely. "No dessert tonight?"  
  
"Heh.. NO," he said, almost too eagerly. He risked a glance at the misshapen cake in the center of the table. "I think I'll go upstairs and.. uh, you know..."  
  
"What?" His father looked confused, but Jeremy was already gone. "What's he going to do?? Maureen...?"  
  
  
  
  
  
The boy shook his head and continued walking. Vanessa bounded after him, deeper into the crevices of the city's alley-ways. "So, um, are you going to see the play?"  
  
"..." The boy refused to stop and talk, obviously pressed for time. "...I-I almost got to. But then-"  
  
He was interrupted by a swishing sound and a pair of rat feet covering the distance between the next corner and the ladder that the signmaker had left behind. A rat boy turned around to look at them.  
  
"Hey, you! Shrimp and pretty-face!" He was an interesting youth with a small red cap on. Vanessa thought it looked a little like an acorn (Ooh, bad memories..), and the overalls he was wearing stopped a few inches short of his feet. Overall, kind of...  
  
"Ratty," Vanessa murmured, finding herself grading the Rodent's fashion sense.  
  
"Hey, whatever! So, shrimp, you're the one with the phony ticket, aintcha?" The furry youth folded his arms as Vanessa looked at the dark boy pull down his hat. "I saw the guy tell you it was fake!"  
  
"Y-Yeah, it's fake," the insecure shadow looked down. Vanessa didn't get it.  
  
"I'll let you see the show if you become my slave!" She was horrified! THERE'S SLAVERY IN THIS GAME?!  
  
"Like, hold on a second, mister!"  
  
"Oh, yeah, you can be my slave, too! Well, whaddya say?"  
  
"No!!" Vanessa looked at this spoiled rat. Why in this world would he want slaves? And just to get into some dumb.. wait a minute.. "Actually, yes!"  
  
The rat looked at her oddly, then looked at the boy under the pointed hat. He was still thinking, but if the big, brunette girl thought it was a good idea, then...  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Awesome! Now for your first assignment! .. Uh, shrimp: go over by the square's entrance, and you, Powder-puff: over by the theatre," the little rascal's eyes darted around, making sure no eavesdroppers were about. "See if anyone's comin'!"  
  
"Why?" Vanessa automatically responded.  
  
"Because I said so! Sheesh!" The rat kicked Vanessa in the shins. He didn't wait for her to stop hopping in pain before starting the 'mission'. He hurried over to Vanessa's post as Vivi took a place in view of the Villiage square. Vanessa stopped her little dance.  
  
"I don't get this-"  
  
"All clear?" The rat child interrupted, looking behind himself at Vivi. Vanessa fumed.  
  
"I think someone's coming..." Vivi looked pleased with his report. Not for long.  
  
"You 'think'?! I wanna know!" The rudeness of this rat popped the shy one's ego a little, but he was soon back to looking out.  
  
"Yeah, it's clear." He pulled his blue coat tighter around himself.  
  
"Clear? What are you going to do? .. ?!" Vanessa's eyes widened. "You aren't, like, going to do drugs?!"  
  
"What's that?" The two boys looked quizzically at her.  
  
"...never mind," Vanessa twitched nervously. What a relief! She didn't mess up anyone's mind this time!  
  
"Well, awesome job anyway! Engage according to mission parameters!" The rat hurdled over to the ladder and ripped it away from the wall as fast as he could. With a grunt, he hoisted the ladder above his head.  
  
"Hey!" Vanessa suddenly screeched.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"...yeees?"  
  
"Wasn't that, like, the hippo's ladder?" Vanessa asked curtly. She eyed the small, furry boy as he rotated towards her.  
  
"...if it was...?"  
  
A hand with pink fingernails gripped the edge of the wooden climbing tool. "I think we should put it back."  
  
"No, we shouldn't.." With a pained expression, the rat tried to tug the ladder away from Vanessa's clutches. No such luck!  
  
"Should."  
  
"Shouldn't."  
  
"Should!"  
  
"Shouldn't!  
  
"SHOULD!"  
  
"SHOULDN'T!!" The ladder was now between the feuding children, swaying this way and that with each word. The boy with the blue coat staggered backwards as Vanessa exclaimed her last disagreement.  
  
"U-um, guys!" The small boy looked around nervously. Was it footsteps he was hearing behind his two angry accomplices?  
  
"...SHOULD!!!" Vanessa ignored the warning, and with one last desparate heave of strength, the ladder swung above her head, the rat still attached to it. "Wha-?"  
  
"Yaaaaah!" Before anything could be done, the rat child lost his grip and sailed away, over the rooftops. A splash could be heard.  
  
The shadow boy and Vanessa looked at eachother. It was a very, very uncomfortable silence that followed. Unfortunately, the silence was broken even more uncomfortably be a harsh voice.  
  
"Hey, you kids! What do you think you're doing with my ladder?!" The hippo had returned, looking more furious than ever. With a dangerous gleam in his eyes, he started to charge towards them. "THIEVES!!!"  
  
It was then Vanessa remembered... Hippos are the most dangerous animals in Africa.  
  
Eyes wide, Vanessa grabbed the boy, and the ladder, and ran. What else was she to do? It was a bad day for her already, let me tell you, and she doubted that she'd ever rent this game out again if given the chance! Not that she WOULD get the chance: the Hippo was catching up! He would kill her and the poor kid that just happened to get caught in that scene! ... and to think of it, they weren't even the thieves! The one the hippo should have been after was.. um, in some water. Somewhere. Yeah, Vanessa didn't really trouble herself to find out the details. She had a more important matter at hand.  
  
"Sanctuary!!" Vanessa panted, losing her energy. She had been running much too long, I mean, come on! Her hair HAD to have been messed up by now! "Where's... the... sanctuary... we need?!"  
  
"Th-there's a church!" For once, Vanessa actually listened to the boy she had first thought was a demon. And yes, sure enough, ahead was a church! Now, just to duck into it...  
  
"COME BACK!"  
  
Not on his life! Vanessa had reached the steepled building now, and swung into it. She dropped the shy kid and looked around, panicking, wondering if the signmaker would find them. Well, he hadn't been too far behind...  
  
"What you doing, kupo?"  
  
"Name's Vanessa, silly!" Although out of breath, Vanessa certainly wasn't out of hot air. Wait a minute, what WAS THAT THING?! It looked sort of like a white rabbit-gopher-mole-bear thing with one antenna and a red tomato squashed into where it's nose was supposed to be. Another lookalike tomato dangled from the top of its lone antler. Two purple bat wings fluttered as the furry monster waddled towards her.  
  
"Name's Kupo, not silly! Oh, by the way," the strange animal pointed to the book it was carrying, "let me explain to you the wonders of saving-"  
  
"WHATEVER!! SAVE, OKAY?! I GOTTA GO!!!"  
  
"But I haven't told you about Mognet yet!" Vanessa had already disappeared up the ladder in the back of the room, along with her stolen prize and the silent boy.  
  
An angry carpenter burst into the sacred room, startling a very confused Kupo.  
  
"Hey, moogle!! Ya see a snobby girl and a black mage just now?!"  
  
"..yeah, up the ladder.. kupo."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Like, what are we going to do?!" Vanessa tried to smooth out the awful wrinkles in her apron. It was no use; nothing is, when an axe murderer is chasing you!  
  
"Follow m-me," the boy picked up the ladder that had been thrown down in a panic.  
  
"Where?!" Vanessa angrily looked at him. Back down? As if! They were at the top of a church steeple, with gaping windows all around and no doors to exit. The only place they could get to was, "The roof?! Are you CRAZY?!"  
  
The boy ignored her babble and hopped out the window with the ladder. Vanessa stared blankly after him.  
  
"Like, are you sure that's safe??" she watched as he stopped before an enormous gap between the church and the building across from it. There was a board over this gap.  
  
"I-I think it'll work for you, too." Without another pause for Vanessa to ask what it was he was talking about, the little creature gathered up his courage and bolted across the pathway. From there, he yelled for her to follow, holding the ladder above his head. "Please! T-This way!  
  
What choice did she have? Vanessa wondered if she should turn back, but an enraged bellow coming from the tunnel that led up to the church's room encouraged her to... "JUUUMP!"  
  
Vanessa fell with a hard thump, and tried to stand up. She had landed on the other side of the board, on the house across from the 'sanctuary'. It was then that she saw the hippo.  
  
"I am Dante the Signmaker! Hear me roar!"  
  
  
  
  
  
"Whoa!" Jeremy's pupils dilated. "What a sweeeet game!! I wonder if I get to chop this boss's head off..."  
  
He smiled, anticipating a big battle, as the small characters cowered in front of the mad carpenter. The girl took a step backwards...  
  
  
Snobby Girl  
"If you want us..."  
"Come and, like, GET US!"  
  
  
He watched as she and the boy with ?????? for a name scrambled across the next roof and came to a halt before another board-bridge. They seemed hesitant.  
  
"COME ON! You freaks, COME ON!!"  
  
"Jeremy!" His mother's angry voice came through the bedroom floor. "No yelling unless you want to go outside!"  
  
"..come on!..."  
  
  
  
  
  
"You can do it, sweetie!" Vanessa's eyes bugged out at herself. Yuck! She was starting to sound like her mom.. but if the boy didn't cross, then she certainly wouldn't.  
  
"O-Okay..."  
  
"Hurry! He's coming!" Vanessa pointed to Dante, the hippo, as he started to cross the ladder just behind them. She turned back around when a crack and the sound of wood hitting the cobblestone below rang in her ears. "Wh-what?!"  
  
"I-I'm sorry!" The boy peeked over the edge. "I barely made it, and had to jump .. and.. b-broke the board.."  
  
The carpenter was now upon Vanessa.  
  
"You know what I do to thieves, little girl?-"  
  
"U-um," Vanessa now seemed to be the one stuttering. Oh, game-over sign, please pop up NOW! "I... I..."  
  
"Miss Lady, j-just jump!"  
  
"Jump?"  
  
"-I grind their bones-"  
  
"JUMP!" The boy hopped up and down. Vanessa looked horrified.  
  
"JUMP??"  
  
"-to make my bread!"  
  
"JUMP!!!" The boy pulled his hat down in frustration, stamping his feet and looking as if he would burst.  
  
"Juuuuuuuuump!" Vanessa found herself frozen in the air, hovering between the worlds she knew, breaking into this new feeling. It was the feeling she would have for the rest of her life.  
  
  
  
  
  
"How overdramatic," Jeremy squinted, tipping his head back and emptying the last of the Coke in the can. He slammed the empty container down, just as the Snobby Girl's feet slammed into the other roof.  
  
It seemed Dante the Signmaker was foiled... for now.  
  
  
  
  
  
Vanessa cried out, in a dizzy stagger, wishing that the rest of the 'game' would be easier. "Hey.."  
  
The boy helped her up as the hippo swore at them. "Good j-job!"  
  
"Hey.." Vanessa repeated, ignoring the world around her. She turned a smudged face to the boy. "..You. You're pretty brave.. but you could use some mascara..."  
  
"What??" The shadow boy looked at his delirious.. friend? Was she a friend? An ally, at the least.. He steadied her as the hippo dejectly made his way back to the belltower.  
  
"My name's Vanessa Katrina Morrison.. what is yours?"  
  
  
  
  
  
A controller dropped to the floor. Jeremy's heart was pounding. Vanessa...? In this game...?  
  
Suddenly, he broke into laughter. Of course! She probably had to name the girl in her game! It all made sense... ah, but Jeremy wasn't about to name anyone original names, as the boy's gray name selection window popped on the screen. Too confusing.  
  
He selected the confirm name option before he could find out that he couldn't have changed the name of the boy if he had wanted to.  
  
  
  
  
  
The boy looked happy, even though you couldn't see his face or any of the features that would normally tell you. It was a sort of aura floating around him, and even though Vanessa couldn't understand why, she knew that he would finally give in and tell.  
  
"I'm Vivi. P-pleased to meet you, ma'am.."  
  
Vanessa snapped up. "Vivi?! What a weird name!"  
  
Vivi faltered, but soon regained his usual composure when Vanessa smiled and said-  
  
"Just kidding!"  
  
"R-right," Vivi started to walk along, Vanessa following him.  
  
As they walked along the rooftops, they hit many dead ends and managed to scrape some rusty gil our of cracks in the crumbling chimneys and such.. don't ask how the money got there! But finally, with Vivi still carrying the ladder, the final destination was reached.  
  
Another longer gap stretched out before them, this time between the house they were standing on, and platform by the castle wall. The only barrier between them and the show was just that there was no board joining the two buildings this time! But now Vanessa understood why the mouse had wanted the ladder...  
  
"Lay the ladder across it."  
  
"Across.. what?"  
  
"The space.. here," Vanessa lifted the burden off Vivi's shoulders and put it down strategically. "This is probably why that kid wanted it so bad, you know?"  
  
"Y-yeah," Vivi led the way across the ladder, wobbling but confident.   
  
Vanessa wiped the sweat from her brow. Nothing scared her anymore! She put one foot on the ladder.. easy as pie. ... Pie?! Her stomach growled. Oh, how she wanted some pie right then! Perhaps strawberry, no.. blueberry was her favorite. Although every other day her mother would order a French Silk pie.. oh, banana cream was good, too!  
  
"I would like the coconut pie, please!"  
  
"What are you doing?!" Vivi's voice broke through Vanessa's daydream in the bakery.  
  
Reality pulled down hard on her in the form of gravity. She looked down and realized she had stopped dead in the middle of her way across the ladder! "Oh, my!" She leaped as the ladder creaked beneath the strain and broke, falling to the earth below. She landed for the third time in safety. Vivi looked at her, wondering if he should just leave her. Nah.. who knows? She might be useful some day..  
  
"Um, we'd better go inside..." Vivi looked on.  
  
"I can see the theatre ship!" And so, Vanessa led Vivi over the wall...  
  
  
  
  
  
Jeremy sighed as the screen faded. He paused, remembering something. He had to go to the bathroom!!  
  
"Well," he promised the PlayStation and the world that lived in it, "I'll be right back!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
---  
A/N: REVIEW PLEASE! I hate to say REVIEW, so I add the PLEASE! I hope I don't sound too demanding.. but I'm sure you understand!! And for a reward, for reviewing...  
  
  
  
ALL REVIEWERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!!  
  
  
  
Reviewer Thanks:  
  
Quistis88 You're back!! Remember the Ditto episode and Adelbert-thing? ROTFLOL!!! Okay.. well, I'll catch you on chat and we'll talk then. Thanks for reviewing all of my stuff!! Awesome!  
  
winky golden ^^ Thanks for reviewing and the compliment! And yes, funny characteristics is a good way to describe Vanessa.. but you write much more sophisticatedly and English is your second language.. that is awesome! I'll be waiting for more of your story...  
  
MiyokoTribal Your fiction is really FUNNY!! LOL! I wish it could be updated soon..? Well, it will be, I'm sure.. ^^ I'll read and review, too! Thanks for the reviews!  
  
soCCer_Rules What is that email?! J/K Yes, it is a ditz story and we both know ditzes.. hehe, SOCCER RULES YEAH!!!!  
  
Lorelei Valentine ^^ Worse people than Vanessa?! No, never! J/k I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too.. write on! And thanks so much for reviewing!  
  
Elyon and Amarant Heh heh.. now you must think I'm really weird.. Vanessa AND my twisted pairing! ^^ You've always been there.. thank you thank you thank you!! You know girls like that? Yeah, I'll keep writing.. for a LONG time if you keep reviewing! Wow! Thanks!!!  
  
Akira-Chan the Vivi Freak Did you change your name to Aya instead of Akira? Sorry, I don't know.. ^^ FAVORITES!!! YESAYESAYES!! ::dances, as always, when added to favorites:: I will keep writing so long as you keep reading! Thanks for the review so much!!!  
  
AgentMKB Cool, like, name, like like! Like, really? I, like, couldn't, like, stop smiling, like like like, when you reviewed! Like, thanks! Uh uh, like, you know?? ^^ Sorry .. that's fun, isn't it? Thanks for the hilarious review! Love ya! Like, PLEASE READ MORE!! Hehe.. like.  
  
chimera8 EMAIL ME PLEASE!!! It would be so awesome to get to know such an awesome fan! You review my lyrics, my story.. ::smiles broadly:: And I would love to find out YOUR couple, as well as you may want to find out mine.. LOL you'll hate me! LOL!! You're not enthused? That's okay, sickness does that.. hope you're feeling better! And I hope you liked this chapter as well as the last.. ^^ Thanks for reviewing! My email's thingbling@yahoo.com .. email??  
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! I like writing it for readers, so I need to know if there are readers out there! Please review, and thank you for sparing the time! And of course you've read the acknowledgements.. 


	4. Buns of Brahne's!

Disclaimer: Square owns FFIX, I own Jeremy and Vanessa and unique character designs. But I think we all knew that.  
  
A/N Teasers: Castle guards, troublesome boys, and realization... and someone has to relieve themselves in the middle of it ^^;; And to get my (lame) joke, I pronounce Brahne's name Queen (kween) Brahne (bron) .. okay, n/m ^^;;  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter IV: Buns of Brahnes?!  
  
  
"Let's see... eleven packages of twinkies, two packs of Coke, five frozen pizzas, and a french silk pie..." Jeremy trailed off, checking his supplies. Yes... it just might be! He stuffed the frozen and refrigerated objects (pizza, Coke, and the pie) into Vanessa's mini refridgerator-freezer-thing. "I could LIVE IN HERE for the weekend!"  
  
"Jeremy-honey, see you Monday! Daddy and I are going on one of our little outtings... Take care, baby!"  
  
Jeremy listened as his parents banged the door shut behind them. A smile crept across his face. Good thing they had forgotten-  
  
"OH! And no parties!"  
  
"DANG!!" Jeremy flopped back on the bed, back-floating on the adorable pink blanket. He listened as his parents got in their new Mustang and drove off. Oh, well, he didn't really want to have a dumb party any way. Last time, all the girls had followed him around until he had locked himself in his room. Just hearing the word "party" and looking at his twinkies at the same time made him feel sick. Uh.. for no good reason, of course!  
  
The screen of Vanessa's otherworldly TV was still, one word sticking out in the middle of the blackness of the scene. "Pause" was a lifesaver, Jeremy was to learn, but just whose life was he saving?  
  
"Okay, I think I'm set! Well, almost," Jeremy looked into the mirror Vanessa kept on her bedside table. He shook his head, parting the loose curls that flowed over his forehead. Charcoal eyes stared back at him, a boyish desire burning bright within. He was always proud of his nose... he wasn't quite sure why. It was normal-sized and didn't attract too much attention, and that was good enough for him. He ran a smudged thumb over the band-aid on his cheek, wondering when his mom would let him take it off. Oh, well. At least she LET him play football, considering how she absolutely refused him the hockey position he wanted.  
  
Jeremy fished around under his bed. It was bound to be somewhere... a-ha! Slowly but surely, an old notebook was drawn from the ancient mess under the bed. Jeremy brushed back his chocolate waves as he plunked the worn book down beside him.  
  
"I think it's about time I read a little of Vanessa's diary, like a younger brother should," he grinned like an imp, leaning back against the many pillows Vanessa had collected over the last year for her new bed. "Nah.. I better read after I get to another moogle thing.. koo-poh! Who knows? She'd probably burst in and unplug the game if she caught me! I want to save before any of THAT happens.." Well, a little brother's reasoning, as many would know, isn't the easiest to sway. He was going to read. Alas, the pause button had more priority!  
  
  
  
  
  
"Whoa!" Vanessa followed Vivi, avoiding the eyes of many as she raced along the back of the seated audience. "Look at all the people! Vivi, is this the rich crowd?!"  
  
The small boy didn't answer, spotting and pointing at a choice view a few yards away. It was behind a weird bird-lady and an insane-looking otter-man. Vanessa didn't argue with the choice of seating, however, because it was better than standing behind, oh.. say.. that scary, fat monster just beyond the balcony!  
  
"Here.." Vivi panted, stopping abruptly. He was nearly knocked over when Vanessa came to a halt, still enamoured with the surroundings. Clapping suddenly filled the air, and he joined in. Vanessa was too dumbstruck to do anything. "I-I think it's starting, M-Miss Vanessa..."  
  
And so it was. Before, only a hint of music could be heard as the two had been in a mad rush to catch the play before it began, but now, proud trumpets blared and the hidden strings section seemed to weave in and out of the drums' steady beat. Vanessa and Vivi shielded their eyes as the intense fireworks split the scene with ear-throbbing cracks and colorful designs. On second thought, maybe Vanessa WOULD rent this game out again!  
  
"What the heck?!" Vanessa whispered.  
  
"W-What?" Vivi turned to look at her.  
  
Vanessa's heart jumped in an erratic shock. "Th-that monster... it's dancing!"  
  
Vivi stared where Vanessa was pointing. A round-faced, yellow-pigtailed, blue-skinned blob rotated behind the railing of the balcony Vanessa had spied earlier. Vivi tried to restrain Vanessa, as she looked like she was going to scream.  
  
"Like, oh my-!!!"  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen!" Vanessa was interrupted by a pigfaced man, accented against the stage's darkness with a spotlight.  
  
Vivi tried to avert Vanessa's attention away from the "monster", but it was no use. The more he tugged at her brown, flowery sleeve, the more Vanessa seemed to slip into shock. Finally, he gave up and muttered something that sounded like, "G-girls..."  
  
"Tonight's performance is a story that takes place long, long ago," the man's goggles flashed, and he extended his arms towards the gossiping audience. "Our heroine, Princess Cornelia, is torn from her lover, Marcus."  
  
"Huh? Oh, how sad," Vanessa stroked her hair, wondering when the introduction would end, and when the dumb guy in front of her would stop scratching his dumb otter-head! "What did he say, Vivi?"  
  
"She attempts to flee the castle, only to be captured by her father, King Leo." The pig-nosed performer's golden, shoulder-length hair shone brilliantly. His robe swept around him like a red river's torrent.  
  
"Vivi..."  
  
"What?" Vivi looked at her. She was squinting.  
  
"When our story begins, Marcus, having heard this, crosses swords with the King." The speaker was noticeably overweight, but not like the "monster", Vanessa noted. She wasn't a deep thinker, Vanessa wasn't.  
  
"Um, do you think it would be okay..."  
  
"And now, Your Royal Majesty, Queen Brahne, Your Highness, Princess Garnet..." The man prepared to take a bow. Vivi couldn't help being amazed, but at the same time a little peeved as Vanessa kept interrupting. So that blue thing.. had a crown.. was a queen? Things never stopped getting weirder!  
  
"I mean, I don't know where it is, but..."  
  
"...noble ladies and lords, and our rooftop viewers, Tantalus proudly presents 'I Want to Be Your Canary'!" The man dipped, and as he did so, a haughty sigh was heard from Vivi's friend.  
  
"I need to go to the bathroom!"  
  
"NOW?" Vivi's eyes nearly popped out. "B-but, we just got here!"  
  
"I know."  
  
"SHH!" A noble lady glared at them, and turned back around to view the play. Vanessa lowered her voice to a whisper, and Vivi tried his best to listen above the bellowing on stage.  
  
"Really, I was wondering if you could come with me!"  
  
"Oh," Vivi didn't know how to respond, but it must have had to be pretty urgent to take her away from this once-in-a-lifetime chance! "I guess, but c-can't you ask... oh, no, I g-guess you can't..." He looked at the guards "patrolling". Riiight... they were just as absorbed in the performance as the audience was!  
  
"Please, Vivi? I think I'm gonna burst!"  
  
"O-Okay," he sighed, but supposed the good part wasn't really until towards the end. Vanessa took his hand and led him past an oblivious guard, stepping into a fancy hallway ... that had too many other hallways to choose from! "W-Which way are we going to g-go?"  
  
"Hmm," using her common sense, and a little bit of history class, Vanessa wondered if instead of bathrooms, the people here used outhouses. "Do you know what a bathroom is, Vivi?"  
  
"U-uh.." Vivi scratched his hat. "It's a place where you go when you-"  
  
"That's okay! That's all I needed to know," Vanessa crept past a reading soldier in the corner, scanning the cover of the magazine the lazy soldier was holding. "Weapons and Abilities: the Complete Guide!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I wonder.. would the bathroom be upstairs or downstairs?" She tapped her chin, thinking about her own house. Oh, but that didn't help! She had a bathroom downstairs, and upstairs, as well as the ones in Jeremy's room and her room! "Let's try.. to the right."  
  
"The right? Why?"  
  
"Look at the wooden door, silly!" Vanessa bent down and peeked through the door's keyhole. "Ooh, maybe not.." She went red as she realized it was a locker room for the guards. "Well, then, shall we try-"  
  
"We shall finish this later!"  
  
"Come back here!"  
  
The trespassers froze in their places as the voices of two teenage boys rang nearby. They turned and what they saw could have knocked an average person unconscious. But, they weren't average, were they?  
  
"Follow the yellow gil road! Follow the yellow gil road!"  
  
In through the doorway burst a red-haired boy with a belt shielding his eyes from view, and an EXTREMELY GORGEOUS, ATHLETIC, NOBLE, OUT-OF-THIS WORLD (in Vanessa's hormone-raging opinion) boy. They were both brandishing swords and cocky smiles, slipping the money they had been showered with into their pockets.  
  
Well, Vanessa and Vivi just stared, not knowing what to do. After much contemplation, Vanessa coughed. The actors pivoted, giving the two lost children a calculating look. Vanessa didn't like this.. "look".  
  
"Wh-what are you doing?!" Vivi suddenly felt himself being swept off his feet. The belt-faced boy had him clamped against the door, face pushing into the wood. A rope could be felt, winding around the small boy's hands. "W-we're sorry for intruding! P-please let-" His voice was cut short by a nasty crack on the head. Vivi slumped into unconsciousness as the red-haired youth pulled his fist back.  
  
The monkeyish boy stuffed a convenient rag into Vanessa's face as he pulled her along with him. "Blank! I didn't think this would happen! Help!" The teenager gestured to his friend, whispering harshly. Vanessa was startled to see Vivi's now eyeless black form cradled against the other boy's, or Blank's, chest.  
  
"They were intruders anyway, Zidane! Let's drag 'em along and use 'em as decoys," Blank, the redhead, clutched the sleeping body of Vivi close, afraid of letting it drop and alerting the guards around the corner. "Besides.. if they come with us, when they wake up, they can't tell anyone about us being here!"  
  
Vanessa suddenly realized that Blank was right: she COULD tell others of the break in.. but weren't they just heading to the green room, anyway? She warily eyed the cutlet dangling against the monkey, Zidane's, leg. She wondered if she could just... she stretched. No, she couldn't reach it!  
  
"Hey, you, girl," the unfamilliar, yet stunningly cute, Zidane lowered his face to Vanessa's. "You wouldn't tell anyone about this, WOULD you?"  
  
"A-and what if I would? Like, you two-!" Vanessa squeaked as the boys slammed her against the wall. WHAT?! Real pain flooded her.. this virtual reality machine must have been very powerful, for she could feel the air escaping her mouth like it always did when she was winded.. but, but that was real! This was.. well, NOT real.. right?  
  
"That's it." A bead of sweat rolled smoothly down Zidane's boyish nose. His eyes darted to and fro, trying to spot a place of disposal for this.. this.. girl. "Too bad she's a hot one."  
  
"Oh, shut up!" Blank hissed, barely letting his voice be heard. "No time for that.. tie her! We gotta hurry.. I'll go in and take out the guards!"  
  
Take out the guards?! This made Vanessa a little more than anxious. They were NOT going to any greenroom, that was for sure! She had to thwart them before it was a game over! Good verses bad, right?  
  
"Hey, um, I'm sorry," Vanessa averted her eyes from the targets.  
  
"Huh- OOF!" Both the boys sank down, feeling unimaginable pain in certain.. areas. Their groans in unison, their cursings in rhythm, their revenge on its way.  
  
Zidane wobbily stood up and looked around, still not quite sure what had happened.. but he knew deep down. That girl must have kneed him, and then Blank, in places unsuitable for mention! Why he oughtta...! But he couldn't, for that "chick" was no where in sight. The wooden door was swinging. Ah-hah..  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oooooh! Vanessa and Maaaark, sitting in a treeee!" Jeremy giggled insanely, flipping through the diary of Vanessa Katrina Morrison. A twinkie was stuck halfway into his smiling mouth. A controller hung over the bed by its cord, swinging sullenly. Another page was discovered in her entries.  
  
The screen before Jeremy showed a blonde character rotating this way and that continually, looking for his victim. The text that hung above the character Zidane's head was ominous...  
  
  
Zidane  
"So she's in the guard's room.. right on our way, Blank!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Vanessa's eyes widened. The two knights in the room advanced on her. "Why are you in here, peasant?!"  
  
"Peasant?!" The knights nodded and gained a look of hostility.  
  
"Peasant.. peasant.. peasant.." The words echoed inside Vanessa's head. Too many people had called her peasant that day! Peasant this, peasant that.. blah, blah, blah! She was sick of it!  
  
"SHUT UP!" Vanessa's scream coincided with Zidane, Blank and Vivi's entrance.. although, Vivi was still being toted along, and it wasn't REALLY his entrance, but- "I'm royalty! I control you all! How DARE YOU CALL ME PEASANT?!"  
  
Royalty? Mistaking Vanessa's kind of royalty, and the ROYALTY kind of royalty, Zidane and Blank were at the peak of uncomfortability at the moment.. if uncomfortability's a word, but you know what I mean. If she could control them, it OBVIOUSLY meant she was ... but then, how come the guards treated her that way? Zidane and Blank didn't have time to find out.  
  
"Uh, um... Attack!" Vivi was dropped to the floor as the actors pummeled the soldiers, beating them into submission. Vanessa watched as her "heroes" caught their breath, stuffing on the spoils of war.  
  
"Why are you putting on their armor? Won't you get in trouble?"  
  
The boys gave eachother a quizzical look.  
  
"Well, no one said hot babes had to be smart," Zidane shrugged, folding his now-padded arms. "But I don't think she's the princess..."  
  
"You kidding?! Who else would speak to a guard that way? Unless.."  
  
"Are there TWO princesses?!" Zidane and Blank spoke together this last sentence, and glanced at Vanessa, who was now tending Vivi's body.  
  
"Are you okay?" Vanessa was unaware of the shadows that loomed over her, trying to prop Vivi up to a sitting position. "Come on, like, speak or something!" Not even a sigh could be forced out of his mouth.  
  
"Which one are we supposed to get, again?"  
  
"Garnet, stupid!"  
  
"Are you SURE about that?" Blank studied Zidane's twitching face. "Didn't think so. Nab now, ask later!"  
  
The only thing that could be heard following this was the continuous complaining/whining/nagging of the 'nabbed' girl. Still holding Vivi like a precious doll, Vanessa was thrown over Blank's shoulder. Without so much as an apology for the awful position, the charming (and yet rude) actor rushed after his comrade, dodging guards as he bolted up the stairs.  
  
Wait a minute! Vanessa kept a steady mind as Vivi's golden eyes flickered back into visibility, staring cluelessly into her own blue eyes. That monkey.. he was also on the cover of the game! Another good guy, or the big baddie?! She didn't have the time to object to this kidnapping, though, being thrown down on the ground as Blank dumped her and Vivi into a struggling pile. He ran over to Zidane and the hooded girl Zidane was talking to.  
  
"What's happening..?" Vivi again passed into a dizzy slumber. Vanessa could only watch.  
  
"H-hey, you're-"  
  
No sooner had the monkey boy spoken than the girl took off, running past Blank... into the living heap. She tripped and fell, now entangled in the mess. Zidane and Blank rushed over, laughing hysterically. Obviously they thought it was "funny".  
  
Vanessa actually had no idea what was going on for the last five minutes or so, from the time she had stumbled into the guards' room to when this mysterious person in the cloak had joined the jumble of confusion. This was too much! The game obviously had some very major bugs that needed to be worked out, and she had claimed the untested version from the store! Ooh, her mother was going to hear about this..  
  
What? Picked up again?! "HEY!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Jeremy's face broke into a grin as he watched the two members of that Tantalus, or whatever it was, sprint down the stairs and carry off their prizes: the whiner, Vanessa, that little boy, Vivi, and the hooded figure.. who Jeremy concluded, from the kidnapping, was Princess Garnet.  
  
Life was good as Jeremy stuffed Vanessa's diary under her pillow. After he got onto the theatre ship, the destination of Zidane and Blank, he would be sure to save! He was always paranoid that something would shut the game off before he could talk to a moogle... but he didn't need to worry about it now. All he needed to do was relax as belt-boy and monkey-man strapped the two girls together, holding them hostage.  
  
"Heh, what a weird game," Jeremy shook his head again. Gosh, how he hated having longer curly hair! He needed to get it cut soon, he knew... but, he thought, I'm still better looking than that dumb monkey guy! Sheesh, if that 'Vanessa' had seen HIM, her heart wouldn't have just been "thump-thump! thump-thump!" It would have been "CHICKA-BOOMA-THUMP! CHICKA-BOOMA-THUMP!" .... Yes, keep in mind Jeremy was a seventh grade boy with typical, self-loving, seventh-grade thoughts.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey! You can't just leave us here!" Vanessa screamed after the kidnappers. "Wh-where are you going?! COME BACK!"  
  
Vivi lay unconscious, in the middle of the Prima Vista's (for Vanessa could see a factual piece of paper about the ship posted nearby, and that's where she discovered the name of the ship) central 'living room'. Vanessa and, you guessed it, Princess Garnet sat, tethered to the table. It had been an exciting day for Vanessa, in the least.  
  
"We'll be back, but we have a show to do!" Zidane disappeared through a doorway, Blank tailing him. Silence followed the bang of the closing door behind them.  
  
Vanessa looked around. It was a colorful room, but not rich. Second-rate drapes flooded the corner, piled under the sign labeled 'Dirty Laundry'.. Vanessa squinted, trying to isolate a distant cound from the cheering audience somewhere above the room she was captive in. It was no use.. although she could've sworn she heard someone calling for the princess.  
  
"Hey," Vanessa twisted around part way to look at Princess Garnet. She hadn't spoken since the "trip". "Don't you have anything to say? Don't you hate being here?"  
  
The princess remained silent, strongly reminding Vanessa of Vivi... that's right, Vivi! The poor boy was still motionless. Vanessa started to get worried.  
  
"Oh, man! It's so hopeless!" Vanessa felt a pinprick inside the corner of her eye. She struggled to remain, what she thought was, strong, but eventually a solitary tear found its way down her pretty, pointed nose. She didn't even know why she was crying, when she finally realized she was! Maybe it was the frustration, and the despair, and simply knowing she could be at home right then... and be loved... but she WAS home, wasn't she?  
  
The first doubt she had, she had when a booming male voice penetrated the room.  
  
"PRINCESS!!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
---  
A/N: REVIEW if you want to see Vanessa out of this awful fix.. (and into another one.. hehe ^^) Don't you feel sorry for her, sort of? She desperatley wants your view on the story so far, as do I! And if you review..  
  
  
  
YOUR REVIEW WILL BE ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!! Proven below.  
  
  
  
Reviewer Thanks:  
  
Quistis88 Always first, no? Hope you're doing well on that Pokemon thing.. LOL! Chat me!  
  
Mimi-kins You liked the potato-sack dress, too? Thanks for the funny review! Update your story soon, no?  
  
the Sly Eagle ^^ ROTFLOL about the nail-thing, yeah, I guess the PS is a perfect nail-dryer-entertainer thing! I'll have to see your Ashley.. ^^ Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Elyon and Amarant Email me some more, though I can't tonight.. I think I exhausted my brain finishing this up.. talk l8er, k? Thanx!  
  
Gazing Dreams I hope you like this chapter, too.. yeah, Vanessa's a prep, but still human. Weird to put those two words in the same sentence j/k Hope you come back again! LOL thanks!  
  
Lady Geagua I'm continuing it alright! How'd you like this chapter? Any part funny? Thanks for reviewing and.. well, the nezt chapter will be good!  
  
Aya the Vivi Freak LOL about your review and yes! I r/r'ed your sucked into ff9 fic.. really good w/ Flare and Flow and everyone.. you going to continue? Thanks and come again!  
  
Yumeko Mailing now! Sure, I'll update you!! No prob, I know how busy things can get.. here ya go and enjoy! And thanks for reviewing, too. ^^ I hope you like the descriptiveness to Jeremy, and hot? Yes, for a seventh grader..! ^^  
  
S.queen Sorry if I don't update fast enough! So very.. I dunno, I'd be lying if I said, busy.. hmm.. I'll get the next chapter up quicker! Ok, and thanks!!  
  
winky golden How'd yer test go? ^^ Got top marks, I'll bet.. hehe, she's a "princess" to the boys.. LOL come again and thanks!  
  
Lorelei Valentine TWINS and BAD?! Ewwgh! ::shudders:: The worst kind! But at least they're not.. SEPTUPLETS O.O!! J/k ^^ Thanks!  
  
Erin Tribal No prob w/ the stories.. cool, you know? I hope you read more.. because it just may be interesting! Thanks again!!  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! This is kind of taxxing, so I'd like to know if you appreciate my work! Thanks.. 


	5. Mutiny on the Prima Vista!

Disclaimer: FFIX -- []. Dairy Queen -- Dairy Queen. Ali Baba -- Ali Baba (I think O.o). Jeremy and Vanessa -- me. Jeremy's junkfood -- um.. I don't know how to answer that. Jeremy's? The company's?? .. whatever ^^;;  
  
A/N: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! To be honest, I kept on forgetting about it. My sister would remind me, of course, in my busiest days, but FINALLY I got around to doing it! Wooh-hoo! Nine months, has it been O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Teasers: The longest chapter yet! Damsels in distress, gymnastics deja vu, stage fright (yeah.. just wait!), and Vanessa just won't be cooperative... "Poor Tantalus" is all I have to say!  
---  
  
Like, Final Fantasy IX - by ThingBling  
  
---  
Chapter V: Mutiny on the Prima Vista!  
  
Jeremy attempted to rub the fatigue out of his eyes. He stared at the controller, head hanging over his slack neck. He chanced a look at his sister's pink, digital clock. The bright numbers illuminated the top of her bedside stand, reflecting off of the perfectly-polished top.  
  
It was 11:47 PM... or 23:47 hours, if you were like Jeremy. He had been "into" army things all through his life, but only recently considered entering the military instead of becoming a professional football player. Of course, the National Football League would be very sorry for his abscence, but "a boy gotta do what a boy gotta do!", or so Jeremy thought.  
  
"There's not even any action yet, except for some dumb duel," the tired boy rubbed the back of his neck. Frustrating. "And even that fight was... dumb! Press buttons... over and over, like, FIFTY times.. and fast? How do they expect beginners to like this game, who've never used these screwed up controllers before? And no blood!"  
  
He closed his eyes. Silence enveloped him, broken only by the melancholy strokes of the Grandfather clock down the hall, sitting outside his parents' huge room. He waited until he felt a little regenerated before looking up again.. why did this game drain him? Did it require too much brain power or something?  
  
"Whatever." He pressed the X button and watched as the line "PRINCESS!!!" disappeared.  
  
---  
  
Vanessa watched, horrified, as the door in front of her rattled with each of the Princess's pursuer's powerful blows.  
  
"Steiner..."  
  
"What?" Vanessa glanced back at the hooded girl's face. It was obvious that this "Garnet" was troubled... maybe even desperate. Yet this first word from the royal female didn't quite reveal as much to Vanessa as she would have hoped. "What did you say just now?"  
  
More fierce vibrations. This didn't look so good, especially since the door appeared to be weakening with this continous violence.  
  
"What's Steiner? Is that monster Steiner?!" Vanessa knew this was no time to panic. It was a time to strategize! Oh, but *what* could be done? If only she had a brilliant mind like that ugly kid Spencer in her Physical Science class! In fact, the only dumb thing he ever did was bump into her, sending the acid she was holding all over her *new* *pink* *ABERCROMBIE & FITCH* skirt, eating away and inevitably almost exposing pink Abercrombie & Fitch...!  
  
...that was it...!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Vanessa shrieked at the top of her Abercrombie-lovin' lungs. She could see Vivi twitch in the corner of her watering eye, and the princess even gave a small jolt when Vanessa uttered her strategy...  
  
"DON'T COME IN! I'M NAKED!"  
  
There was a definite pause between the hammering blows of the annoying stalker.  
  
"You're not even... decent?"  
  
"Not even decent!"  
  
"You're not... covered, or anything of the like?"  
  
"Not even covered or whatever you said!"  
  
In the awkward silence that followed, Vanessa's lips curled into a Grinch-like smirk, sensing victory in the near future...  
  
"AND I'M HAVING A SEIZURE! I AM INCAPABLE OF CLOTHING MYSELF! OH! YOU'D BETTER RUN! OH! OH OH!" In the months that followed, Vanessa would look back on this incident with a self-congratulating nod. She had to be the smartest Abercrombie and Fitch patron in the entire world of... THIS WORLD (never mind her being the *only* one)! Yes, she was dominant in this VideoGameLand! Or whatever it was called. Hey, she'd have to check that out sometime...  
  
There was a low muttering of profanity beyond the door and Vanessa knew she had won. Preparing to give herself a nice big pat on the back for figuring out this little puzzle and no doubt moving on to the next "level", she almost didn't hear the next sounds that drifted through the wooden barricade of privacy.  
  
Thump. Thump-thump.  
  
And that wasn't Vanessa rewarding herself with the well-deserved pats. A retreat, perhaps?  
  
"Uh... hello? You still there?"  
  
Silence...  
  
"Guess not! Woohoo! Hey, uh, Princess Emerald, or something," Vanessa screwed up her eyes in order to read another poster in the far corner of the dingy room. TANTALUS RULES! RICH PEOPLE DROOL! NYAAAA!  
  
...What the heck?...  
  
"You may address me as Princess Garnet til Alexandros XVII."  
  
After the Princess's "helpful" input, it was hard to distinguish which was larger: the doorway which Vanessa wanted desperately to escape through, or her gaping mouth.  
  
"Pssh! Right!"  
  
After Vanessa's "polite" response, it was even harder to distinguish who was more frustrated: The Princess's eavesdropping stalker beyond the door, or the Princess herself.  
  
"..." Vanessa didn't mind the royal girl's absence of speech, however, because she was busier trying to find out Vivi's current health.  
  
"Vivi! Wake up, my little friend!" Vanessa *did* mind, however, the odd look the so-called Princess was giving her. "What are you looking at?"  
  
More silence.  
  
"VIVI! I! SAID!! WAKE!!! UP!!!!" What was intended as a soothing nudge into consciousness escalated into a full-blown blast of Vanessa vocal talent. "WAKE UP OR I'LL... I'LL...!"  
  
"Pheonix Down." And Vivi blinked wide awake. Vanessa stared at the rising boy, and then at the supposedly simple Princess who was tucking away a brown sack as best she could with tied hands.  
  
"H-how?"  
  
"Vivi," Princess Ignore-Me till I-drop-dead 1592 was looking at the shadowy boy, smiling sweetly in a way the Vanessa decided she hated, "will you please help us out of our bondages?"  
  
"Y-your what...?"  
  
"Our ropes! Help us out!'" You can guess who translated the request for him. Vivi didn't waste any time. Nearly tripping in such a rush, he had soon freed Vanessa and Princess Garnet with a fiery blast from his... hands?!  
  
"WHAT THE PINK?!"  
  
Vivi stumbled back and Princess Garnet covered her mouth.  
  
"You've never been exposed to..."  
  
"To..."  
  
"To..." The two game characters exchanged worried glances.  
  
"To WHAT?!" Vanessa glared. She was getting very tired of this situation very fast. Unfortunately for her, it was about to get worse.  
  
"PRINCESS! I'LL SAVE YOU!"  
  
"Oh, no." All three captives looked towards the door. They had completely forgotton about *him*!  
  
"Captain Steiner!" Princess Garnet whispered harshly, forgetting whatever thing to which Vanessa hadn't been exposed. The room seemed motionless, and Vanessa could just SENSE the man behind the door getting ready to-  
  
"CHAAARGE!"  
  
In an instant Vanessa found herself grabbing both the Princess's and Vivi's hands, running through the door opposite the one the scary man was about to break through, and into a... dining room?! All that occupied the new room were odd contraptions, papers, stools, and a stained table in the middle.  
  
"How tasteless." Vanessa blinked. For the first time in her life, she felt like she wasn't being as big of a help as she intended. A splintering crash echoed behind her, and she had the suspicion that it would be GAME OVER in just seconds.  
  
"The table is hinged to the floor!" Princess Garnet's figure was crouched and shaded beneath the top of the table. "It must open somehow!"  
  
In what must have been her life flashing before her eyes, Vanessa saw images she never would have voluntarily conjured. Images of that hottie Carl picking the Pop Machine lock at school (well, maybe voluntarily conjured THAT!)... images of her popular friend Shania somehow figuring out the entrance code of her Dairy Queen's walk-in freezer... images of that dork Spencer trying to hit on her in 3rd grade, telling her about Ali Baba, or SOMETHING (Vanessa wasn't paying attention), saying his magical phrase in order to get into a huge treasure horde... What was it again?  
  
"Open Sesame?" She tapped her chin, ignoring the table that popped away from a manhole-like cover which in turn popped away to reveal an escape hatch. "At least, that's what I thought it was. I can't be sure... Open Sesame. How odd..."  
  
Vanessa was soon aware of three sets of eyes on her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Captain captain captain captain! There they are!" A small man in armor bounded up behind the...  
  
"STALKER!" It seemed that while Vanessa had spaced out, the man the three had been fleeing had caught up to them, and was now barring the door they had entered, and staring at the door he had failed to block. Vanessa followed his gaze.  
  
"Oh! Right! Goodbye, then!" It was as if a clogged section of her brain had been Drain-O'ed! Such brilliance Vanessa had been capable of! Such magnificent smartness! Oh, how her Abercrombie & Fitch friends would LOVE to hear about THIS! I mean, she had seen the Princess and Vivi escape through the hole in the floor and decided (I.Q.-liciously, might Vanessa add) to follow!  
  
"Captain!"  
  
"Wait!"  
  
"As if!" A flash of adrenaline! A rush of gravity! A squeal of utter delight! She, Vanessa Katrina Morrison, had jumped down the hatch! Had escaped the stalker! Had escaped GAME OVER! Had escaped death! "Hahahahaaaaa! So much for being a damsel in distress!"  
  
---  
  
Jeremy blinked. What a loony game! Trap doors and Ali Baba and... Vanessa. He shook his head. Sure, he might've named the main character after himself if he had been in her shoes, but first he would have made sure they weren't such a "doofus". He stuffed a twinkie in his mouth as the scene remained with Captain Steiner and his weird Knight.  
  
Steiner  
"Well, let us commence!"  
"...a-hem..."  
"I AM COMING, PRINCESS!"  
  
Jeremy smiled through his bulging, twinkie-filled cheeks. He had to admit, the bizarre characters in Final Fantasy IX *were* entertaining.  
  
Pluto Knight  
"I-I'll go first, sir!"  
  
What looked like the lousiest attempt to jump down the escape hatch took place. Jeremy raised his eyebrows as the Pluto Knight flailed his limbs, now hopelessly stuck in the hole. Well, if he'd just gone, you know, FEET FIRST, it wouldn't have happened!  
  
Steiner   
"Hey!!! What do you think you're doing!?"  
  
Pluto Knight   
"Captain, sir! I'm stuck, sir!"  
  
Steiner   
"Grrrr! Blast it!!!"  
  
"Of course you're stuck!" Jeremy swallowed the mush that had once been a twinkie. The Captain ran out of the room. "You sailed in back first, ya lame-o!"  
  
Pluto Knight   
"Hehehe. He bought it!"  
  
"What...?" Weird game. Very, very weird game.  
  
---  
  
"AAAHHH!" Vanessa landed with a dizzying impact, much like the hippo-roof episode. Gravity... 9.88 m/s/s... acceleration... "Gymnastics... deja... vuuuuu..."  
  
Yes, Vanessa had been in gymnastics in one muddled, dreary, mixed up segment of her lifetime. Why she quit she would never known - she had been the best athlete in the court! Why, she could tumble, uh... tumble, tumble, and tumble! And without getting injured! When she thought about it, maybe she did know why she quit. Maybe.  
  
"...Crazy gymnasts..."  
  
A blurry figure swayed in Vanessa's vision, gesturing six arms all in different directions.  
  
"Follow my lead, quickly!" Vanessa was in no state to argue. Before she could fall over the rail that separated her from huge, whirring engines, a dark gloved hand encased hers. She was pulled along a blur-of-a-hallway, and shoved through another doorway. As the scene tipped back and forth, her eyes were gradually capable of focussing on her guide.  
  
"Follow me! We will not be safe here for long." The Princess was before her, white cloak billowing in the gusts of warm air from the engine room. She looked rather like the ghost Vanessa had once claimed she saw while camping with her friends the stormy night the whole town had gone through a power outage. The ice cream had tasted funny after that...  
  
"M-Miss Vanessa?"  
  
"Vivi! Where are you?!"  
  
"Past the pole! Hurry!" Vanessa took too long to register the Princess's command in the scene that buzzed around her, her eyesight zooming in and out and her judgement impaired from the fall. She promptly walked into the pole in the middle of the room. "Ack!"  
  
Another sound was added to the chaos as another whirring seemed to descend from above... and onto Vanessa.  
  
"OOF!"  
  
"Oh, my goodness! I-I've killed her!"  
  
"Caaaaaptaaaaain!"  
  
"STEINER!"  
  
Pain... painful, painful pain! Vanessa clutched feebly at the area where steel-toed boots had clobbered her. She closed her eyes. GAME OVER, GAME OVER, GAME OVER, GAME OVER...  
  
"Cure!" A light, breathy sensation swept Vanessa from the floor and into the sky. It was as if wings had been attached to her back, gliding her into a cool, downy bed. She stood up.  
  
She was still in the room with the pole. She raised her head and saw that it was some sort of firefighter pole where people could hang on to it and slide down through the opening above, saving much time and, if the occasion arose, lives.  
  
Not in this case, however. In fact, quite the opposite.  
  
"You killed me! You *&^%$#@!!" Vanessa's hands clenched into fists, and were soon making horrible noises against the stalker's armor. In his hurry to "save the Princess", he had used the pole and slid down right when Vanessa had been under him. Ooh, Vanessa was getting good at figuring out this stuff!  
  
"Stand down, you horrid girl!" Now it was the stalker's hands that clenched - right onto Vanessa's shoulders.  
  
"HELP! CHILD MOLESTER!" Vanessa's unexpected shrieking stunned everyone, including Vanessa. Before she could process a full plan in her mind, she had already put into motion the first step, and really, it was all she needed.  
  
She kicked him between the legs. Hey, if it worked with the blonde boy and the belt boy, it could work for twinkles.  
  
---  
  
"Harsh!" Jeremy inwardly cringed as Vanessa, Princess Garnet, and Vivi made a mad dash towards the next door. Vanessa jumped over the now hunched captain, and kicked the other knight karate-style ("Wow! I didn't know I knew karate!" gasped Vanessa). He was thrown to the wall, knocking off his helmet and exploding something within his army.  
  
Pluto Knight  
"Eww! Oglop guts!"  
  
Jeremy stared, spellbound, as the girl with the tantrums sprinted after her friends. The larger male finally straightened, and, gasping, pointed his sword at the smaller.  
  
Steiner  
"You're not one of my knights!"  
  
Pluto Knight  
"I'm not...? Oh, yeah."  
"..."  
"OH YEAH! AAAAH!!"  
  
The screen of the huge TV faded to black, and loud banging noises were emitted as Jeremy assumed the two men fought it out.  
  
"Ooh!'  
  
"Ahh!"  
  
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"  
  
"Ker-splat!"  
  
"Finally! Some blood!" The young football player bounced up and down excitedly on his sister's expensive bedset. The screen became light again as the Captain held up his sword in a victory stance. A presumably dead oglop was smashed into the phony knight's face.  
  
"Aw, man!"  
  
---  
  
Vanessa was now in a dark room filled with even MORE machinery! Where was she to go? There wasn't a door or escape path in sight! Princess Garnet til Alexandros XVII and Vivi were scoping out the area as well.  
  
A musical blast pierced the air.  
  
"The play!" Vanessa looked at Vivi. They were missing it all just because of Vanessa's "urge" (which had been eliminated during her chuting )! Dang it!  
  
The sound of the trumpets and violins and drums fell like rain, welcomed in a time of depression. It was so clear, it was almost like it was next to them... or above them, in the case of real rain.  
  
"This is a theatre ship." Vanessa looked to the Princess with mock surprise on her face.  
  
"REALLY??" The Princess shot a sharp look at her inquisitor.  
  
Above was heard shouts and applause. No doubt a new scene had taken place on top of the Prima Vista...  
  
---  
  
Jeremy parted Vanessa's tassled curtains, tying them back with the sparkling pink rope that fell at the sides of the window. Moonlight spilled into the room. The street outside was abandoned, with only the lightposts to clutter the sidewalks, glowing and haunted by greedy moths.  
  
The boy with the mop of curly hair fell back onto the bed, opening another twinkie wrapper, casting it aside and stuffing the actual twinkie into his mouth. He was going to need a lot of energy to get through the night, after all!  
  
"Dumb Vanessa. Going over to a friend's when she could be playing a Playstation game!" He picked up the controller and unpause the game.  
  
King Leo   
"Tonight, I shall finally see my daughter Cornelia betroth'd to Prince Schneider!"  
"And then Prince Schneider and his kingdom will be mine!"  
"Gwahahahaha!"  
  
It seemed that the scene had changed again, this time starring a great pig-nosed man. Two identical rhinoceros guards entered, holding a struggling troll between them.  
  
Zenero   
"Your Majesty!"  
  
Benero   
"We have caught an intruder!"  
  
King Leo   
"Why, my poor Marcus!"  
  
Poor, indeed. If the king had felt anything but pleased that his two ruffians had dragged home a man, he would have set the victim free. Instead, the king gestured insanely and excitedly to the captive he was addressing.  
  
King Leo  
"Hark, lad. No matter how much thou dost treasure Cornelia..."  
"...no matter how deeply she might believe she doth love thee..."  
"...never shall I see her marry a peasant such as thee!"  
  
The sound of a bell tolling could be heard. Jeremy looked out the window. Nope. It must have come from the game. The clock tower outside said 12:24 - AM, Jeremy expertly decided - and it only chimed on the hour.  
  
King Leo  
"When the bell strikes three..."  
"Under the axe thou shall be!"  
  
The bell sounded again. Jeremy narrowed his eyes. Despite his cynical attitude toward the game, he found himself hoping that this 'Marcus' would be alright...  
  
---  
  
"This is a theatre ship, " Princess Garnet repeated, walking to a large lever to her right, or Vanessa's left, "Which means it has a stage and stage entrances."  
  
"I don't follow you." Vanessa strolled carelessly onto a raised platform. It was kind of springy.  
  
"You will." And she did.  
  
With a sharp jerk, the Princess threw the lever as hard as she could, sending the platform Vanessa was standing on, along with Vanessa, up into the unknown. What happened next, Vanessa would never really be able to figure out, but there she was.  
  
And there the audience was.  
  
"W-what?!" She staggered backwards, knocking into one of the Rhino guards, feeling desperately ill. So THIS is why the star of the spring musical had thrown up all over the stage the last year.  
  
The troll that had been restrained by the guards before broke loose now, flying at Vanessa. She was, to be polite about it, dumbstruck. As his trolly, trolly arms waved to her with a cry of "Cornelia!", she felt she must be dreaming.  
  
"Cornelia?"  
  
The blonde teenage boy from before was borne from the stage floor on yet another platform, running up to Vanessa. WAS ZIDANEGOING TO KIDNAP HER AGAIN?! KIDNAP CORNELIA?! Wait a minute... she was *Vanessa*, not Cornelia! Or was she...? She gave him the same odd look he was giving her.  
  
He moved his lips slightly, saying in the low, sexy voice that Vanessa recognized with hatred, "Improvise!"  
  
Even though Vanessa had no idea what the word meant, she could still understand what she was supposed to do: act on the spot!  
  
"Uh... my... love!" She couldn't believe it, and neither could the rest of the theatre troupe. At least, that's what she interpreted from their relieved expressions.  
  
"Cornelia!" The troll repeated, looking to the monkey for help.  
  
"His name is Marcus," was all the hottie had to say. Vanessa nodded and proceeded to fling herself into dear Marcus's arms.  
  
"Marcus!!"  
  
"Seize her!" The piggy king jabbed his large finger at Vanessa, and his guards reared themselves dangerously, clicking lobster-ish claws menacingly at Vanessa.  
  
"NEVER! I'll never leave him! I'll never leave Marcus!" Somehow Vanessa knew she had said the right thing, clinging to Marcus ever tighter, clenching her teeth as the king and his servants drew back.  
  
"I will never leave Marcus, so long as I live!"  
  
"See, King Leo? Thou shouldst give them thy blessing!" The blonde actor nodded and pointed to Vanessa and Marcus.  
  
"Never! Never leave his side, thou sayest?" The king now rounded on Vanessa. "Foolish banter! I'll not allow it! Cornelia shall marry none other than this man - Prince Schneider!"  
  
Vanessa looked around wildly, wondering what other actor she had to "improvise" with.  
  
"Is that not so, Prince Schneider?"  
  
She gaped. No! It couldn't be!!  
  
It seemed that during the ruckus downstairs, the tall knight that was stalking the Princess had somehow managed to tail Vanessa and her friends after all, and was now standing stupidly in the midst of the play. Behind him, shaking with silent laughter, was the princess! How she had arrived was no mystery. The captain had probably finally captured her and decided that riding up on the platform would be the quickest way back to wherever he intended to take her. Vivi was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"M-Marry the princess? Me!?" Captain Steiner, instead of looking at Vanessa, was looking at Garnet. Schneider and Steiner... hmm, hmm, hmm. Clever...  
  
"Aye! And this traitorous crew, I will put to death!" King Leo, however good an actor he may have been under different circumstances, faltered now, wondering just how to put to death a crew that had no idea how to act out a resistance.  
  
Vanessa retreated as Marcus and Zidane heaved onward, bringing courage and blades into the battle. Although it was just an act, it was fierce, and Vanessa felt her heart beating hard under her plain brown dress with the apron on top. She realized then how silly she must have looked, a princess in a potatoe sack. She sighed, and the two fighting against the guards stood victorious.  
  
"Too many of them!"  
  
"Run away!" The first guard turned on his rhino heels and ran, the second following close behind. The king didn't seem to mind their lack of loyalty, however, and advanced on Vanessa.  
  
"Pray, sweet daughter, come home to the castle with me."  
  
Vanessa mind went blank. It was just as well. What would Cornelia have done, anyway?  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" A scream pierced the air, and so did a stream of flame. Vivi! His leg had been caught between the rising platform and the stage floor where the two met. Coming to join his companions, he had been a bit too clumsy for anyone's good.  
  
"A little boy!" King Leo laughed heartily, sweat pouring down his furry temples, for a reason he was about to find out shortly. "He... he has no doubt a mind to aid Marcus! Guards!" But no guards came. "Oh, fine, then." He bent down and plucked Vivi from where his leg was wedged.  
  
"Th-thanks." Vivi waddled over to Vanessa and held her hand. She noticed how cool his gloves were for just sending a jet of fire into the velvet robes the king was wearing.  
  
"Ack!" Vanessa jumped out of the way as a glowing cinder flew by her. This action was nothing compared to the king's, though.  
  
A giant gasp came from the audience as he, like all the commercials Vanessa had seen advertised, stopped, dropped, and rolled.  
  
"Uh-oh!"  
  
"Put him out!" The monkeyish Zidane screamed, hastily grabbing the cloak from Princess Garnet in his rush. In doing so, he "blanketed" the fire, but he also alerted the queen to certain conspiracies.  
  
Princess Garnet til Alexandros stood there, wide-eyed, not daring to move. With her cloak gone, her disguise had vanished, and the orange skin-tight suit she was wearing over a puffy shirt did certainly not help camouflage her royal curves. Locks of night fell down her back, tied with a blue clip. Vanessa stared.  
  
The girl on the cover of the Final Fantasy IX CD case! The character that had convinced Vanessa to even try out the game at all! It was- it was HER!  
  
In a very unhelpful injection, Steiner mouthed, "Princess? What?"  
  
"NO TIME!" The blonde actor grabbed Princess Garnet and put his free hand into his mouth. "From now on, you can call me Zidane!" Releasing the Princess, he drew his weapon and closed his mouth around the fingers he had inserted. A whistle split the tension while his dagger split the air. "Say goodnight, you really good knight!" He thrust the dagger into where Captain Steiner's stomach would have been if Princess Garnet had not shoved her knight away.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"PRINCESS!"  
  
"Princess..." Zidane's eyes fell to the scarlet line he had brought upon her highness. "Why didn't you let me...?"  
  
Vanessa watched in horror as the saved man stood, pulling out his own item bag. He took a vial from within and emptied its contents onto the Princess's wound, splattering the stage with the unused solution. To Vanessa's shock, the wound sealed and the princess glowed with new health.  
  
"Steiner."  
  
"Yes, your highness?"  
  
"Go... home."  
  
"W-what?!"  
  
"I said, go home! I WANT to go with- with Zidane!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Vanessa, Zidane, Steiner, and everyone else who was listening stopped whatever they were doing and looked at the Princess that they had once thought was sane.  
  
"S-surely you jest!"  
  
"Surely I don't!"  
  
There was an awful grinding noise, and the surrounding seats and balcony outside of the ship fell away as the stars above grew larger and brighter.  
  
"It's too late!" King Leo, only without his insane accent, was clinging to a rope attached to the rail of the stage. "We'll have to dump him off along the way! There's no way he can go back peacefully now!"  
  
"I'd NEVER go back peacefully!" Steiner spat, knocking Vanessa over as he strode towards the king, pulling his enormous sword from its sheath as he went. "Not unless the Princess came with me!"  
  
Vanessa clambered towards a shivering Vivi, fighting her way among the sliding props. The stage was oddly tilted, and Zidane hopped over to the Princess to escort her away safely. Steiner turned suddenly, flinging his arm out and sending King Leo back into a pile of plastic weaponry.  
  
"Stay away from her, monkey boy!"  
  
Far away, Vanessa could make out a deep voice ordering someone to, "Fire!" She gulped. That couldn't be good! She turned her head to see Zidane and Steiner playing a game of tug-of-Princess, and Vivi playing a game of scream-while-the-boy-with-the-belt-across-his-eyes-tries-to-abduct-me! There was an explosion somewhere nearby. So many catastrophes! She wanted to help, but she felt, somehow, that she'd be more of a help by the...  
  
FLAMING THING?! It was a monster! A monster made out of fire!! How had it gotten there?!  
  
"It's a Bomb!" Someone screamed, but Vanessa could barely hear them. Her attention was on the "Bomb's" trail of gunpowder that was burning away, down its line. She followed it with her eyes to the smoking cannon that had probably fired it. A mad, crowned creature with blue flesh manned it. Ah. That explained.  
  
"A-a Bomb, huh?" Vanessa was ready to rumble.  
  
---  
  
Jeremy stared. WWOOOOHHH! Boss time! Yeah, baby!  
  
Vanessa  
"Here we go!"  
  
The girl with the brown dress hit it one, two, three, four, five times! Without pausing in between! Yikes. She was pretty impressive for someone who was such a wimp. And... and he was controlling her! In his subconscious, somehow, his fingers had been in the right places at the right times and tapped away!  
  
"Wow! Better than the duel, anyway!" Unfortunately for the boy in boxers, this was not quite the way to handle his, or Vanessa's, foe.  
  
---  
  
Before anything else, there was an explosion. After that, well, Vanessa didn't really know what happened. It was a monster in front of her face one minute, and Steiner's gloves the next. And after that? Well, let's just say that Vanessa welcomed the pink, Abercrombie & Fitch darkness...  
  
------------------  
A/N: REVIEW now that you've read it this far, please! I spent a LONG time on this chapter, and you must have spent a LONG time waiting for it... so please show me that you appreciate my efforts by reviewing!  
  
YOUR REVIEW WILL BE ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!! Proven below.  
  
Reviewer Thanks:  
  
---Erin Tribal--- ::squeal:: ^^;; I added more! Don't hate me! Gah! Thanks for the review - I lurved et!  
  
---gamegurl mirai--- Vanessa is not a person I actually know, but more of a combination of people ... I sort of know. I'm going to write this story so you get to know her better - maybe why she's like she is. It should be interesting. Thanx for reviewing!  
  
---Ice Javelin--- Yeah, Jeremy's the typical little brother stereotype. Don't we all love them. Write more - your site rocks! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
---Winky Golden--- Yes, a bathroom in a castle. Actually, I think the bathroom did originate in a castle tower chute-like thing. Am I wrong? It had to be invented somewhere along the line! ^^;; Thanks!  
  
---Elyon and Amarant--- MY FRIEND! Sorry I haven't mailed in SO long! I'm in a musical right now and things are... uh, *sticky*. Yeah. Thanks for reviewing and email me sometime!  
  
---Aya the Nao-Kun Freak--- I know someone at school named Vanessa as well, but she's really cool. Not a prep. ^^;; Also, the biggest awesome anti-prep in my school's last name is Morrison. She'd probably freak if she found out about this fic. Don't know anyone named Katrina, however. ::shrugs:: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
---The Flame Panther--- LOL, well, I just thought, you know, ?????? is a weird name for a little boy. ^^;; Thanks for reviewing!  
  
---chimera 86--- Ah, quit the grovelling (sp? O.o) and write! Write, I tell you, write! Oh, and BTW, thanks for reviewing! ^^;;  
  
---The Truthful--- Yeah, I wonder. I bet they know about preps, but they probably don't connect preppiness with themselves. Although it is possible to be a NICE prep. I met one ^^ Slightly airheaded, but hey! We all have our moments... Thanks for reviewing!  
  
---blakkat--- Always nice to see you're reading! Thanks!  
  
---soCCer_rules--- You know what? I think I might not go into soccer or CC next year... because I'd rather be in the fall play! Sorry! ^^;; Wow, MORE rehearsals to clog up my schedule! Gotta luv it and THANKS FOR REVIEWING!  
  
---Magic Girl2--- I updated! ::gasps for breath:: You OK there? LOL I love enthused fanfiction readers! It makes me feel so... warm and fuzzy inside ^^ Thanks for reviewing! Read on!  
  
---greyfriars--- Long camping trip, eh? AHH!! ::ducks greyfriars' pointed hotdog roasting stick as it whistles by her head:: I, um, updated! Heh, heh? ^^;; OOHH, the evil forest is going to be SO FUN! It's the part I've been looking forward to for, like, 9 months. O.o;; Yeah. I just can't really rush anything, otherwise it would get really sloppy and bad. Patience, patience... thanks for reviewing and read on!  
  
---Shadow Fusion--- Brahne ish fweakay. ::nodth:: Spank oo por mi reviewo! O.o;; OK, now that was just TOO weird...  
  
--MiyokoTribal--- Heh, I'm glad you think it's funny ^^ I love to make ppl laugh, although it doesn't always work. What gets me is when people laugh and I don't MEAN to make them laugh... like tonight at dress rehearsals I said I looked like a gas station man in my weird outfit and all the people around me broke into chuckles. Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle! What was so funny O.o ? Ah, well. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
---AgentMKB--- I updated! How is it? Good enough to review for? (I guess I'll find out O.O) Thanks for reviewing!  
  
---Angel Sari Neko Jeminie Indigo--- Wooow! Exotic name! Pretty! ^^ I updated, and I think I'll take you up on the sugary offer! ::waddles to corner to indulge in the sinfulness so described in your review:: ^__^ Yum! Thanks for the delicious review!  
  
---Amarie--- I actually decided to write more quickly when I received your review! Oh, is it OK? ^^ Thanks for reviewing! Ta!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED, if you review! It is really quite difficult for me to fit in writing with my schedule, and it might not be prioritized very highly if no one appreciates it... 


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